Flaming Zinc

This weekend was the template for perfection. A lazy Saturday morning spent in bed with milky coffee, pastries and listening to The Now Show on Radio 4 (pure nirvana would have been The News Quiz). A mooch about, then some lunch and a comedy show taping. On Sunday I brunched with a friend and then hit a gallery for a buzz round. Then I hooked up with Alex for a late afternoon movie (The Interpreter view to follow), and just to add to the decadence of the day we watched ‘Bend it like Beckham’ on DVD upon our return.

Bliss.

There is something euphoric about Friday evenings. The week is over, Saturday and Sunday are stretched out in front like virgin territory. And I am even more giddy tonight as there was a parcel waiting for me. When we moved into the new apartment, some of our friends gave us an Amazon voucher, we spilt it. Alex has pre-ordered some big cat theme software with his half, and I choose ten items from my wish list. I don’t know where to begin I have five DVDs (Bend It Like Beckham, Closer, Dangerous Liaisons, The Complete Storyteller Collection and Greek Myths) and five books (Tulip Fever, Tipping the Velvet, Empire of the Sun, The Naked Civil Servant and Julius Caesar). Bliss.

On a completely unrelated note, I got a letter from my grandparents contain a clipping from the Independent newspaper with their ten best registry offices. Of course Westminster register office where Alex and I tied the civil knot was amongst them. It was a very popular choice with the Beatles, and bizarrely Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffiths – but I bet Tippi Hedren didn’t make her daughter’s dress.

I am right royally pissed off. I feel that Alex and I have been mugged for over a hundred dollars and 2 1/2 hours of our precious time. I must vent otherwise I will not sleep a wink and develop an ulcer.

I convinced Alex to come see Julius Caesar with me. Denzel Washington playing Brutus, a contemporary setting – though I thought it was going to be political instead of militaristic – and a promise that he could play has much Halo as he wants for the rest of the month. Sold. First off, I was excited to be seeing a Shakespeare play that I am unfamiliar with and given my obsession with all things classical this was going to be a real treat. Secondly, I was impressed with the demographic of the audience, anything that brings people to the theatre and introduces them to Shakespeare is a good thing.

It stunk. A certain, two-time Oscar winner, gabbled through his lines so quick that they made no sense (yes, he was speaking nonsense) and made no effect to act (sweetie, if you think you were bored you should of looked at me in the balcony). There was no delivery, no nuances, no punctuation, no presence, he gave us nothing. Bizarrely, when he wasn’t on stage the other actors performed better and delivered their speeches with clarity and, to a certain extent, feeling. He appeared to have a weird inverse affect on the people around him. Brutus is a complex character, but I felt that at no point did we ever feel that he was an honorable man who had been manipulated. He appeared to accept the idea of murdering Casaer (played by William Sadler) like you would decide to nip to the pub for a swift half (you’ve twisted my arm, just a quick one). Where was the loyalty that was so prevalent in Roman society?

There were a few scenes that were good, not brilliant or outstanding but good in a mediocre grading on a curve type of way. I liked the brief interaction between Casaer and his wife (Tumara Tunie as Calpurnia), as she tried to warn him not to go to the senate. Eamonn Walker, gave a very fine performance as Mark Antony but I got the impression he was holding back, and ditto for Colm Feore as Cassius. But the real high light was during the interval, when I lighten our mood by telling the joke from the Carry On film… “Infamy. Infamy. They have all got it in for me”.

I’ll be honest, this is a sorry excuse for a production. Maybe they didn’t care because people would pay to see Washington read the phone book, so why bother? But, it saddens me that a play that is predominately about spin and politics, so very relevant today could be deflated and abysmally mishandled.

…till you run out of cloth, goes the old proverb or at least that is what my mum says (she used to work in the theatre).

Since we are out of towels and clean under garments, tonight is designated laundry night (party on). But, I did not panic that the front desk were out of rolls of quarters, nor did I quiver when I could only find enough loose change for two loads of washing and drying. I did not even flinch when I got to our cosy laundry room to discover that only one of the washing machines was working.

I have not run out of cloth, in a few hours I will have clean clothes and most importantly knickers!!!!!

Alex booked tickets for Star Wars Episode 3!

The assimilation back into my old life has been shockingly easy. It is almost as if the past two years hadn’t happened, could all have been a dream or one of those alternative reality episodes in Star Trek or Buffy. I have slotted back into commuting, shuffling files, pushing papers (or is it e-docs these days), juggling tasks and meeting deadlines. It appears that I haven’t lost my touch, and I am fully immersed in the, oh so, glamorous world of administration again. But, it’s okay the financial remuneration is very nice and my corporeal body might be in the office, but my mind is else were lost in ancient Greek vocab or dastardly, blood curdling stories.

There is a shed in my living room.

It has invisible walls, and cocoons Alex’s computer desk space. When he enters his shed, he transforms into shed-boy and does not want to be disturbed unless I am bearing light refreshments. Sheds belong at the end of a garden, not next to your sofa.

I think when we next move, we will need to upgrade ourselves to a three room apartment (or at least one bed plus den). After nearly ten years of our two room existence I think it is time we expanded. Alex is worried that if he physical has his own annexed space it will turn into a black hole and he will never see me again. He does not see what is wrong with the current situation.

But, if I am in the same room as another human, that I like, I am forced to communicate with them. Their presents disturbs me and I can’t channel them out (unlike shed-boy). So maybe the solution will be for me to have the study, my own shed, and I can temporarily disappear – study, read, whatever – and materialise when done.

It is also worth pointing out that he has a mobile shed too, his smart phone.

Oh, my word exactly how much do I love House, and having Hugh Laurie back in prime time? My heart rate is definitely elevated, if that is any indication, every Tuesday night. I just pray to the gods of light entertainment (Dioysus, are you listening) that they work Stephen Fry into an episode – how great would that be??? Tonight’s show was delightful. Loved it when Wilson (or should that be Watson) totally punk’d House on his feelings for Cameron. Loved it even more when Cameron went for the BIG gesture of friendship and he couldn’t even shake her hand.

Since I am wandering about in tv-land, a few more thoughts. Last night’s 24 – what the f$%^, Jack. Put your phone on vibrate when you are on a covert op . All I know about the nuclear football is from last seasons NCIS (a bastion of truth), but isn’t it meant to be hand cuffed to some military dude, shouldn’t Jason the good Samaritan have found it attached to a limb? I am finding myself rather smitten with Tony, the beat-up bad boy look rather suits him over the too slick smug look of seasons past. Plus, every time he looks at Michelle his facial expression is screaming “I went to jail for you, and you left me with nothing….NOTHING…apart from this beer belly”.

I am not sure about the season finale of The West Wing, I like that we’ll be seeing more of Jimmy Smits (who will be even bigger after the summer blockbuster) but I am feeling uneasy about the surprise of Leo running as VP. It screams of a little too much, too late. I am so over NBC being a powerhouse network…what have they done to their, once unstoppable, Thursday night line up??? I will give the new mini-series Revelations a go, but only because of Bill Pullman.

BTW, on the way into the office I past a group of Mariah Carey fans who had queued (how many times today did I have to mentally force myself to say ‘lined up’ to my American co-workers) over night to meet her at a Best Buy on Broadway….but it’s not even Star Wars!

I faced one of my, numerous yet adorable, irrational phobias today – not water and all things nautical, or ceramic knickknacks with limbs (my mother once had a sugar bowl or milk jug with stripy blue legs), or chokers (which evolved from a late night viewing of Bride of Frankenstein), but mannequins. I find them creepy, and I am uneasy when they out number me. Have you never felt like you were being watched when you are the lone shopper in a department store, and all the sales assistants have mysteriously vanished. But my main reason for being traumatized is the Doctor Who episode that had them come alive! I know it is silly. Today I found myself in a store that rented out the plastic vixens, and having a conversation about whether we wanted heads or non-heads or if dress forms would be a better option!!!

I am currently annexed to the bedroom. Alex needed to spend some quality time with his Xbox. I think he is fed up with having to wait till I am asleep and playing it ‘quietly’ (or rather not having anytime during the week for gaming). So, I decided to take one for the team and sloped off to my chamber. Perhaps later tonight I will be rewarded with an episode with Jonathan Creek, alternatively he may carry on playing until the wee hours. I think I can compare the call of Halo to the Sirens that my other hero, Odysseus, came across on his journey home. Their beautiful and enchanting song lured sailors to steer their ships into the jagged rocks that surrounded their island. Alex, in his own way, gets enchanted by computer games and from time to time forgets me…..

……but it’s okay. I have caught up on a weeks worth of The Archer’s episodes and finished another excellent Commissario Brunnetti mystery ‘Death in a Strange Country’.