Firstly, by The Beach which was such a taught taut gripping thriller it proved a little too distracting, and I really enjoyed it.
Secondly, when my alarm went off at 6am it was actually 5am. I had forgotten that the clocks were going back and I got an extra hour in bed. Which made getting up so early on a Sunday slightly more bearable.
A recent comment brought up many good points and I have spent most of the afternoon (and evening) mulling them over.
I really don’t just read to intimidate people, that’s what I would call a handy by-product…I jest (maybe). I have a great love affair with the written word. I read to improve myself and for the sheer enjoyment that well crafted prose brings. It is immensely rewarding that the wider I read the more secrets are unlocked. Those sly references to x, y or zed that would have once had me googling or glossing over, I now understand (well, I can de-crypt some of them). I gave myself a pat on the back and a smirk when at the end of PD James’ The Murder Room, Adam Dalgliesh referred to himself “as no Captain Wentworth” in respect to a particularly personal letter he had penned. I know what he was going on about, I’ve read Persuasion. It happens to be one of my all time favourite books, and I get goose bumps thinking about the part where Wentworth and Ann finally hook up. Knowledge is power, and to be more knowledgeable is something we should all be stretching to attain. (I appear to be yearning for a utopian Star Trek style future.)
It is a sad fact, but some books do intimidate. Worthiness is heaped on classics, and whilst others are dismissed as pulp fiction for the masses. Me thinks that this would have Shakespeare and Dickens spinning in their respective graves. We make assumptions based on what people read, or if they don’t care for print. Inspector Brunetti (the hero of one of my favourite series of detective novels) was surprised to discover that his mother in law had read Darwin’s Origin of the Species in English. This threw a new light on his perception of his MIL – but should it have done? If I had chick-lit books strewn about my desk would I be conforming to a stereotype? Of course, if I didn’t have a healthy sized chip on my shoulder about how people perceive me then I might keep my books in my bag rather using them as a barometer of my intelligence. I might as well wear a tee that screams “Part-time student. Not planning on being here forever. Formulating escape plan as you read this”, or “Of course I can manage to send a fax, I’ve read Medea don’t you know!”. I should clarify that I do not consider my job beneath me, I am not in the least bit haughty with respect to the types of work I do. I am of the opinion that it is better to be employed in any role, than not. I am a diligent hard working soul, who is proud that the folks around me – from time served in burger bars to dot coms to what ever is in my future – can count on me to do a top job. It is just that I am looking forward to one day being in a role that capitalises on my grey matter. But, perhaps that wont live up to my expectations. Who knows, but you have to try don’t you?
What I am ineloquently trying to say is that you can read weighty tomes and mysteries. I can learn about Plato and watch CSI. Everything is subjective, especially when it comes to what we each consider great literature. Just because “everyone” may say that A Passage to India is the pinnacle of 20th century literature, does not mean that it is for you. You may dismiss it as a total snooze fest, but the point is you have read it and developed your own opinion based on a personal preference. But, if we allow ourselves to be intimidated by Joyce or Homer then we (the unwashed masses) wont try and will allow the opinions of others to be our guiding light. Of course, if I manage to scramble into an ivory tower and I tell you that you should worship the ground that Odysseus walks then you better get to it or else. (I grew up in SE London I’m connected, not by tube but by bus and rail.)
I am rambling, next topic “why do I repel people and complain of loneliness” – I tease, please forgive. In all honestly it is simply that I am shy, and I have erected a large (yet moveable) metaphorical fence around myself. I clam up in the company of strangers, and it takes a while for me “warm” up to people (years in some cases). I am not indiscriminately social. Banal chit chat does not come easily. I view people suspiciously, perhaps one too many after school specials. But, once I feel comfortable in your company, you will not be able to get me to stop talking.
I am of course a walking contradiction. A diffident observer of life, who ended up giving the ONLY speech at my wedding, and it was completely off the cuff. A modest little flower who wants to be ignored and the centre of attention. I once had a conversation at uni, the first time around when I was still harboring the hope of becoming Sam Neill’s research assistant, about why I had blue/pink/red/etc hair. Was is it to draw attention, or as I argued that I truly felt that I should have been born with magenta tresses. I’ll cry wolf till I am blue in the face, run out of cliches and got all the villagers attention…..or until CSI starts.
After languishing unread for five years or more I finally started The Beach. Not too shabby so far. Three, slightly irrational, reasons why I think I left it so long to read; everyone in the free world appeared to be reading it when it came out, I have no desire to backpack through Thailand and I was “annoyed” when Leo was casted in the film version.
In honour of Diane Court in Say Anything I am crossing off every word I look up in my copy of The Oxford Classical Dictionary.
Q. I am sat at my desk with the following things in front of me, which do I pick?
(a) A copy of this weeks Entertainment Weekly
(b) The Murder Room by PD James
(c) The First Philosophers: A riveting tale of intrigue and espionage amongst the PreSocratics & Sophist
This item on the Guardian’s arts blog, and the comments, made me giggle and feel not quite so alone in the universe. There are other people out there who have force-read themselves through Anna “f@#^ing” Karenia, The Alchemist (sub-titled: You have to travel half way around the world, get beaten up, loose a fortune to find the “richest” you were sitting on all along) and Moby Dick (to name just three). There were even some mad buggers who have tried Clarrisa (watch the mini-series with Sean Bean instead). I hauled myself through her half-sister (Pamela) and which was bad enough.
On a serious note, though. I don’t buy books to impress people, I read books to intimidate. Leave a copy of The Iliad on the reception desk and you’ll have them running for cover. Leave a copy of The DaVinci Code and you wont be able to shift them. Sit in a cafe reading Jude the Obscure, and deflect an idle “Are you a English Lit student?” with, “No, I read Hardy for fun” and you will have them whimpering into their half-caf, no whip, skimmed mocha. Pen, sword and mightier spring to mind.
I am feeling a little saner. I’ve made butter cookies, iced them and sprinkled ridiculously expensive red sugar (Dean and Deluca) over them. They look quite festive, which is not surprising since the only cookie cutters I owe are Christmas ones ! I restrained myself to stars this evening. I think a trip to a kitchen store is in order, maybe I’ll get some Halloween shaped cutters and some expensive black sugar to make next weekends batch look particularly ghoulish!
My western brain is finding it hard to digest ancient philosophers musings….Anaximander’s apeiron has a touch of the Blackadder about it (the episode involving “finest green”). Okay, not really since apeiron is an abstract concept of “first principle” (think building blocks of life and the universe), and green was alchemy gone wild. But, you know what I mean!
Personally I think the whole concept of apeiron came from a drunken night out with the boys from Milesians: Thales, Anaximander and Anaximenes (or philosopher 1, philosopher 2 and philosopher 3). The wine was flowing and Thales (philosopher 1) put forth his suggestion that first principle was water. Then Anaximenes (philosopher 3) piped up with air, or perhaps intelligent air? Then at some point between “air” and the kebab shop Anaximander (philosopher 2) decided to blind side them with apeiron.
Apeiron is different from all other elements, it is divine and the source of everything. Me thinks that apeiron is Greek for “chili sauce”. In kebab shops sauces do tend to defy the laws of nature and have infinite sell by dates, they can taste divine (when consumed drunk) and at others times can be considered indigestible (=indestructible).
I think I need a break from the books.
Okay, it blatantly isn’t Friday in this time zone. But I have tomorrow off, so for all intensive purposes it is Friday. How am I going to spend this precious day off (and Saturday and Sunday for that matter)? Homework, homework, and then more homework. The days are gone when I would slope off to the cinema or hang out in a cafe and read mystery novels. I feel like every minute of everyday is account for, and should not be frittered away. But, it is okay I am beginning to find my natural rhythm with regard to study habits. I’ve even introduced some light reading on my commute (PD James). Once I am all caught up, and prepped myself to within an inch of my life for my first seminar (10 days and counting) I’ll be able to relax. Hopefully then I wont spend all my time at work in a constant state of anxious worry about all the online lectures I have yet to start.
I am a work in progress, but at least I am progressing.
When you are meant to be studying it is probably wise to watch film trailers on your laptop with head phones…..
(But I am intrigued by Derailed and Match Point )